Dear Fun,

I know we haven’t exactly been on the best terms lately, and that in fact, we haven’t even spoken or seen each other for a few weeks. I guess I kinda knew for a while now that this is how things were gonna end between us, and I suspect that, at times, you knew as much too. It seems pretty obvious, by now, that things aren’t going to work out between us – at least, not right now. I think that right now, we’re just not right for one another.

Look, I’m sure that you’ve heard all kinds of rumors about me and Boredom, or me and Exhaustion, and especially about me and Solitude. They were all just flings, and they meant nothing to me – especially compared to you. But most importantly, I want to make sure that you know that nothing happened between me and any of them until you and I stopped seeing each other. When we were together, you were the only one I wanted to be with.

I guess I just need something different right now, which is why, as I’m sure you’ve also heard by now, I’ve been spending so much time with Cranky. Maybe it’s just that you and I have been together for so long, that I’ve never known anything else. For that, sometimes I feel overly dependent on you, which makes me nervous for two reasons: 1) obviously I have to get thru this test on my own, and 2) as much as I love you and love being with you, I’m concerned that my own sense of self revolves around you sometimes. Maybe we both just need to take a step backwards from one another, take a break from the other, and try seeing other people.

With the bar exam coming up, I guess Cranky is just better for me. Especially since when I’m with you, I’m unable to think about or do anything else that isn’t you. Every time I think about the time you and I have spent together, and the things we did, I still smile. Sometimes Cranky gets really pissed off when I start talking about all the great nights drinking you and I had together, the Halloween party, your semi-formal, or “Taco Night.”

I know that you understand, but I just wanted you to hear it from me because you deserve at least as much, and because even though I know that I’ve messed up too bad for us to just jump right into being friends, I hope that with the passage of time – maybe in a few weeks – we can re-evaluate our feelings for one another, and at least try to be friends again.

Missing you,


Jay