Be a BarBri Superstar!!!

Some days class makes me wanna bang my eff'n head on my desk. It's recently occured to me that no one in my class is ever gonna remember me as "the guy who payed attention real well," and that even if they did, no stories of my attention paying - not even if exagerated - would really make for a cool conversation over beers. So here a few things I'd like to do... things that anybody could do to make themself more memorable to the people in their class. If you're excited by the thought of like 30-100 total strangers telling stories about you to a bunch of their friends years from now, this is for you.

1) Everytime the professor uses an example where somebody dies, run out of the room crying hysterically like you know somebody that died the same way.

2) Make balloon animals. I'm not sure which would be funnier: to make them and then pop them, make them and pop them, make them and pop them, or to hand them to the person next to you as you make them, and give him a nod indicating to "pass it down." You decide.

3) Go to the bathroom and come back with toilet paper stuck to you... but not to your shoe. Put it somewhere creative... like three feet hanging from the back of your collar.

4) Wear a band-aid on a diff't place on your face everyday.

5) In the middle of class, pull a case of soda cans out, arrange all 24 cans very meticulously on your desk. Open all the cans as quickly as you can, then pack up all your stuff and leave class, leaving the cans behind. I don't know how funny this really is, but I imagine the sound of each can being opened would attract enough attention to make for a good story for someone.

6) Every half hour or so, put down your pen and lick all ten fingers, one at a time, in quick succession, pick up your pen, and resume writing.

7) Fall down the stairs in your classroom or auditorium. All the way down.

8) Sit in a middle row of your class, finish what's left in your water bottle, and just whip it at the back of the head of someone in the front of the room. This close to the bar, people will be too stunned to react. Therefore, not only is this hilarious to you, but it establishes your dominance in the minds of those around you.

9) (video classes only) As soon as the professor lists the elements of a particular cause of action, raise your hand like you have a question. Visibly grow impatient by the fact that he hasn't stopped to call on you by holding up one arm with the other and doing a pee-pee dance in your chair. As soon as the professor clarifies one of the latter elements (e.g. that the intent required for a battery is intent to cause the contact, not to cause harm) drop your hand and sigh & groan as if that's exactly what you were gonna ask.

10) Come to class a few minutes late carrying a potted ficus tree and pretend to be hiding behind it. You gotta have fun with this... move all the way to the front of the room, stopping every few steps like you're trying to make sure no one can see you. Once your in the front of the room, peer around and look like you're taking notes on the people in the room, still acting like you're trying not to be noticed. After a few minutes of that, pick up the plant and move next to somebody in the middle of a row - a few steps at a time like you did to get to the front on the room. Continue acting like you can't bee seen while you squeeze past everyone to get to the middle of the row. Make like you're copying someone's notes over their shoulder, continuing to act like you can't be seen because you're hiding behind the ficus.

11) You need a partner for this one. One of you has to dress up like a giant gorilla, chasing the the other, who will naturally be dressed like a giant banana. Bust in thru the door and chase the banana for one or two laps thru the room and then right back out the door. If you're in a mock trial room, or any room with something big like a judge's bench in the front, be sure to run behind it once and pretend to run "downstairs" once you're behind it. Stay behind it for a few minutes, run "back upstairs" and back out of the room.

12) Find someone in your class that looks enough like a TV or movie character that everyone would have to agree on the resemblence, and in the middle of the lecture yell a line at that person from the show or movie. For example, there's a guy in my class that looks just like Long Duk Dong from 16 Candles. Before class ends, I wanna yell at him, "No more yanky your wanky! The Donger need food!"